I had been brainstorming with an intermediate family member, to figure out where I and my baby daughter were going to end up living.
I had left my abusive husband with my (then) 9-month-old daughter in tow and we had sought sanctuary at a women’s shelter.
I was needing to find a more permanent place to live. Keep in mind I had been a stay at home mom for my daughter’s entire life, so I had no job or income. And job opportunities were slim at the time.
A relative had offered for us to stay at their house while they were serving God for their church. But the date they were to leave had been changed to a much later date. Like months later.
So, we were brainstorming ideas.
This family member told me that if I were to get XYZ in financial assistance from the state, and XYZ from child support, and was able to work at least a part-time job, then maybe I could afford an apartment on my own and I could make it financially as a single mom.
I listened to her and didn’t really think much about what she was saying. It wasn’t until much later that her words started echoing into my head that I then started to realize something off about her words.
Suddenly it hit me. Like whoa, wait a cotton-picking minute. (Yes, that’s a phrase I legitimately think to myself. I know, I’m weird.)
Why do the stars have to align with all of these types of assistance for me to make it as a single mom?
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not naive. I know that being a single mom can be very difficult financially. But that doesn’t mean that you are going to struggle forever. Like you are doomed if you are a single mom to never come out on top financially. No not true.
How come this family member didn’t believe in me and what I’m capable of doing in order to provide for myself and my baby girl?
Now to me at that moment that was the bigger question. Because of her relationship with me, she should be one of my biggest fans, so to speak.
So, it made me think about what to do when nobody believes in you.
What to Do When Nobody Believes in You
Well, your first option is to give up hope and say woe is me.
Or you can realize that you have the power to prove that person or people wrong.
To make something of yourself. No matter what it is. No matter how hard that path will be.
Here are ways to do that.
1. Prove Them Wrong
I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me I can’t do something, that is the one thing I want to do.
I want to show that person or people that they are wrong about me and that I can succeed.
So what if you are being told if you can’t do something.
Do you believe you can do it?
Great then go out there and make it (whatever it is) happen.
Even if it is difficult and seems impossible. Don’t give up hope.
But what if you don’t believe you can do it?
That leads me to point number two.
2. Believe in Yourself
There is one person that should always believe in you. And that person is you.
It doesn’t matter if you are still constantly trying to improve your self-esteem and self-confidence.
You can still believe in you.
My self-esteem and self-confidence live on a roller coaster. Some days they are up and some days they are down. (A little corny, I admit).
But I never stop believing in myself.
And neither should you.
3. Live Life Without Regret
Your life is just that, YOUR life.
It is yours and yours alone.
To mold and shape it however you want.
Regardless of what people think about you or what you can achieve.
It’s not their life, so don’t give them power over you.
Don’t get to the end of your life wishing you could have done something.
Figure out how to go after it now.
Even if it takes your whole life to accomplish it.
Live entirely without regret.
4. Freedom to Choose – Live Life on Your Terms
Because your life is your own, you have the ability to choose what you are going to make of your life.
Sure, I’m a single mom, and not every day is peachy, in fact, honestly, I still struggle.
But I still have the freedom to choose how I live my life.
And so do you.
Right now, I am proving that family member wrong. I am able to live in an apartment by myself with my daughter. I don’t have to entirely rely on assistance or child support.
I’m not 100% financially secure and I am still struggling a little bit.
But you know what, I am still doing it. I am making something of myself, for myself and for my daughter. I am slowly achieving my goals, one by one. I am still believing in myself.
No, it is not easy when someone doesn’t believe in you. But it doesn’t have to break or define you.
How do you handle someone not believing in you?