It can feel like a feat trying to love yourself. Especially as a mom being pulled in a million different directions. It might not even feel worth it. But loving yourself makes you a better person and a better, happier mom.
When you fall in love with yourself you know the depth of your capabilities and gain a deep appreciation for yourself. You genuinely like yourself. It is easier to teach your own kids to love themselves when you can lead by example.
Falling in love with yourself allows you to:
- become your own best cheerleader.
- embrace your strengths and weaknesses.
- be kind and gentle with yourself when you fail or make a mistake.
- give yourself what you need. Instead of waiting for permission or for others to do it for you.
- be comfortable doing things alone. (This becomes especially true if you are a single mom.)
- know you are in your corner, even if no one else believes in you.
- know you are enough and amazing the way that you are.
- have the confidence and courage to go after what you really want.
- 6 Steps to Being Your Best Self
- What to Do When Your World is Crumbling
- What to Do When Nobody Believes in You
How to Fall in Love With Yourself
1. Be Kind to Yourself
This seems so simple, but in fact can be deceptively hard. We are part of a world where others (whether from society, or family members or friends) are constantly telling us how to look, how to live, and even how to feel.
It is important that you give yourself permission to be human and to be yourself. Whatever that looks like for you. You are in charge of you and your own life. No one can take that away from you.
2. Let Go of Negative Thoughts
In a world where you are supposed to fit into a certain ideal and certain box, it is easy to have negative thoughts and feelings about yourself. Negativity breeds negativitiy. What helps me when my thoughts are spiriling into a negative cycle is to repeat positive affirmations.
A positive affirmation is a phrase that starts with “I am..” and then states something about yourself. There are many different positive affirmations you can say to yourself. Such as “I am beautiful.” “I am strong.” “I am worthwhile and enough.”
It helps to say them in front of the mirror every morning. (Yes, it feels silly and you might not believe the words you are saying.) But know whatever the phrase(s) you choose to say, they are true. And repeating them over and over will start to help you feel and believe that they are true.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
You were meant to be your own unique, special and wonderful self. You can’t do that if you are focusing on everything you lack (or supposedly lack.) Or if you are trying to keep up with the Joneses. Or if you are focusing on your flaws. LIfe is not meant to be a competition. Your only goal is to become a better version of yourself.
What can help is to start a gratitude journal. A gratitude journal is full of everything you are grateful for (or are trying to be grateful for.) It can be lists or long diary entries.
If you hate journaling like I do, then write down one item each day. Or write a list every month. By focusing on what you do have and what you are grateful for, it will help you to stop comparing yourself to others.
4. Practice Self-Care
Taking care of yourself shows your love for yourself. You might feel like you have no time for yourself.
But even doing something small like going for a walk, taking a bubble bath, watching an episode of your favorite T.V. show or dancing to your favorite song will recharge your batteries and show your love for yourself.
The best way to fall in love with yourself is by creating a life that you love surrounded by the people that love you.
5. Have Fun
All work and no play, make your life dull, boring and grey. Take the time to indulge in your hobbies or find a new hobby. Have a dance party in the kitchen. Start your blog or rekindle it. Read a book.
Contary to popular belief, meditation is not about silencing your mind, but rather sifting through your thoughts and rising above the noise. Meditation can help you manage stress, improve you mood and gain a new perspective. You can also learn how to listen to yourself, your thoughts and your body.
7. Get Outside of Your Comfort Zone
You can’t grow if you don’t push your boundaries. Learn a new skill. Do something that scares you. Face your fears.
For me, I have a hard time being vulnerable and sharing my stories. (You might be wondering right about now, why the heck I write my stories on the internet of all places.) Writing here on this blog helps me get outside of my comfort zone. And it is fun, albeit a little scary at times.
But by doing this, I prove to myself how resilient, strong and capable that I am. And that will happen for you as you embrace the edges of your comfort zone.
8. Pay Attention
When was the last time that you really looked at the leaves in the trees?
Or smelled a flower?
You are surrounded by beauty. Don’t get so busy that you forget to see them.
Smiling just helps you feel better about yourself. Plus smile because you are worthy and deserve love and happiness from yourself and from others.
How do you show love for yourself?