Being a stay-at-home mom has a lot of benefits. But there are downsides as well to being a stay-at-home mom that should be considered when making the decision to stay-at-home with your kids. Don’t let any of these cons discourage you from being a stay-at-home mom. Just be aware of them. I think it is easier to make a decision when you know both the pros and cons. So, here are the pros and cons of being a stay-at-home mom.
Related: The Ultimate Stay-At-Home Mom Guide
Cons of Being a Stay-At-Home Mom
Since your home base is your home as a stay-at-home mom, you might not get out much. This can lead to loneliness and isolation since you might not be interacting with other adults as much.
It can be hard to leave the house as a stay-at-home mom, especially with young kids or babies, since leaving the house becomes a production. You have to make sure the diaper bag is packed, your purse is ready, you are dressed, your child is dressed, and so on and so forth. It almost becomes easier not to leave the house until it becomes vital.
This goes back to the last point. Not leaving your house enough to connect with other adults or not having other adults to interact with can leave you feeling depressed.
Honestly, before becoming a stay-at-home mom, I never realized this could be a thing. You would think with how busy you are as a stay-at-home mom that boredom wouldn’t come up. And maybe it won’t happen at first, but eventually, it might creep up on you.
4. The Stress of Managing a House
Even if you have the most supportive spouse in the world, you might still feel extra stress from all the duties you have as a stay-at-home mom. You are in charge of your kids, all appointments, grocery shopping, other errands, keeping the house clean, and other home-related things. It can be overwhelming and stressful.
5. Being With Your Kids 24/7
Because you are a stay at home mom, you are always with your kids. You never have an off moment or off day. Not only are you with your kids during the day, but because you are mom, you are the one that gets your baby in the middle of the night to feed them, to soothe their cries, or if your kid is a little older and has a nightmare and comes running to you.
I think of it (this applies to all moms by the way, not just a stay at home mom) as being on-call. Because you are always needed or might be needed.
And as a stay-at-home mom, your kids are constantly with you, which means you are not alone. You might even have trouble going to the bathroom alone. I know I do because my daughter is at an age where I can’t be out of her sight.
So, that can be really draining because you never get time for yourself. It just means you need to make time and take breaks, whether that is during nap time or if you do have a spouse, have them take your kids so you can take time to yourself. Or if you can afford it, there is no shame in hiring a babysitter to have extra time for yourself.
6. Lack of Understanding
Unless they have been a stay-at-home mom, it is unlikely that people really understand where you are coming from, even your own spouse, because they are not in your shoes. They are not staying home taking care of kids.
There have been countless times when I have told people I am a stay-at-home mom and they look at me with a blank stare or tell me that they are envious that I get to stay home all day. While that is true, that I am home all day, unless I am running errands with my daughter, it doesn’t mean I am staying home and doing nothing. That is the part that is left out but is implied.
When I was married, my spouse didn’t understand. There were times when I tried my best to clean the house, but for whatever reason, it looked like a bomb went off. Or there were moments when things didn’t get accomplished because I was sick or my daughter was sick. And he didn’t get it. Because I was home all day.
So, it was almost like you are home all day, so why can’t you get everything done every day. Well, I was home all day, but I was also taking care of my daughter which takes a lot of time and effort. And there can be complications too. People don’t understand and they aren’t always kind about it either.
7. Employment Gap
There is starting to be an understanding of stay-at-home moms entering the workforce. Why there will be gaps in your employment. But there are still employers that don’t understand the concept of a mom being home with her kids for an extended period of time, typically years, so reentering the workplace can be difficult.
You haven’t been able to stay on top of your experience. You are also competing with people who are much younger than you, are right out of school, or have experience that is fresh and recent. That can be difficult to compete with in order to be hired.
One thing you can do to counteract that is to put all of the volunteer work, community work, or freelancing work you have done on your resume. And if all else fails, you can simply explain why you have gaps in your employment history in a cover letter you send with your resume.
8. Miss Work
When you become a stay-at-home mom, you have to sacrifice and give up different things. One might be giving up the career that you really like. You might miss your co-workers. You might miss dressing up for work and having a reason to wear makeup. You might miss having that sense of accomplishment of finishing projects and being able to have that satisfaction. That can be a lot to give up.
There are things about being a stay-at-home mom that might seem like a downside. It doesn’t mean you can’t work around them, But it just means you should consider the cons as well as the pros. And if you decide to become a stay-at-home mom and realize it is not for you. That’s okay too.